Man with depression thinks about therapy.

If you’ve been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), you might feel overwhelmed by the emotional ups and downs, intense relationships, and impulsive behaviors that often accompany it. Fortunately, there are therapies specifically designed to help you manage BPD and regain control over your emotions and life. 

Let’s explore the most effective BPD therapies and how they can help you make real progress.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

If you’ve heard about BPD treatments, there’s a good chance you’ve come across Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). DBT is considered the gold standard for BPD and was specifically created for people who struggle with the emotional intensity and impulsive behaviors common in BPD. It’s one of the most effective therapies for managing these challenges and has become the go-to option for many therapists.

How DBT Works for BPD: DBT blends two powerful approaches—acceptance and change. You’ll learn to accept your emotions and circumstances as they are while also developing practical skills to change unhelpful behaviors and emotional responses. DBT focuses on four key areas that will help you gain control over your life:

  1. Mindfulness: Teaches you to stay present, fully aware of your thoughts and feelings, and prevents you from acting impulsively.
  2. Distress Tolerance: Helps you manage emotional crises without resorting to harmful behaviors like self-harm or substance abuse.
  3. Emotion Regulation: Offers tools to help you manage and reduce intense emotions so you don’t feel overwhelmed by them.
  4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Teaches you how to maintain healthier relationships by asserting your needs, setting boundaries, and handling conflict without feeling rejected or abandoned.

With DBT, you’ll develop a toolkit that helps you cope with the rollercoaster of emotions BPD often brings. It’s structured, practical, and proven to work.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

While DBT is often the first recommendation, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is another effective option. CBT is widely used for many mental health conditions and can be helpful in treating BPD, especially if you struggle with negative thinking patterns that affect your emotions and behaviors.

How CBT Works for BPD: In CBT, you’ll work on identifying and changing the negative thoughts that lead to unhealthy behaviors and emotional responses. If you tend to see things in extremes, such as thinking someone either loves or hates you, or if you feel like you’re either perfect or a failure, CBT can help you find a more balanced way of thinking. This can reduce the emotional intensity that often feels overwhelming with BPD.

CBT focuses on the connection between your thoughts, emotions, and actions. By learning to challenge and reframe distorted thinking, you can break the cycle of emotional reactivity and impulsivity.

Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT)

If you find it hard to understand your own emotions or the emotions and intentions of others, Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT) could be a good fit. People with BPD often struggle with what’s called “mentalization,” which is the ability to see yourself and others clearly in emotional situations. This can lead to misunderstandings and conflict in relationships.

How MBT Works for BPD: MBT helps you slow down and reflect before reacting to situations, giving you space to think about how you and others are feeling. By improving your ability to mentalize, you’ll gain better insight into your own emotions and the emotions of people around you. This can lead to more stable relationships and less emotional turmoil.

Schema Therapy

Do you ever feel like certain patterns in your life keep repeating, no matter what you do? Schema Therapy is designed to tackle these deep-rooted patterns, known as schemas, that may have formed early in life due to unmet emotional needs or trauma.

How Schema Therapy Works for BPD: In schema therapy, you’ll identify the negative beliefs or schemas that keep you trapped in cycles of emotional instability, self-sabotage, or destructive behaviors. These schemas can make you feel unworthy, abandoned, or disconnected, and schema therapy helps you break free from them. By addressing these core emotional wounds, you can start healing and building healthier ways of thinking and behaving.

Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP)

Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP) is another therapy specifically designed for BPD. In TFP, the focus is on the relationship between you and your therapist as a way to understand your emotions and relationships with others.

How TFP Works for BPD: During therapy, you may project feelings onto your therapist that reflect how you experience relationships in the real world. By exploring these feelings in a safe space, TFP helps you understand emotional patterns that may be harmful in your life. Over time, you’ll work through these patterns, leading to a deeper understanding of yourself and more stable emotional experiences.

Combining Therapy and Medication

While therapy is the cornerstone of BPD treatment, medication can sometimes play a supportive role. There is no specific medication for BPD, but if you’re experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, or severe mood swings, your doctor might prescribe medications to help stabilize your emotions.

Medications used for BPD may include:

  • Antidepressants: To manage depression and anxiety.
  • Mood stabilizers: To reduce emotional highs and lows.
  • Antipsychotics: For severe symptoms like paranoia or dissociation.

Medication alone isn’t a cure for BPD, but it can help manage symptoms and make it easier for you to engage in therapy and practice the skills you’re learning.

Choosing the Right Therapy Approach for You

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. The best therapy for you depends on your unique needs, preferences, and the specific challenges you face with BPD. If emotional intensity and impulsivity are your main struggles, DBT might be the best choice. If negative thinking patterns are holding you back, CBT could offer relief. For those struggling with understanding emotions or trauma from past experiences, MBT, Schema Therapy, or TFP might be more suitable.

It’s also important to work with a therapist who specializes in BPD, as they can help guide you to the right treatment plan and support you on your journey.

BPD Therapy in New York

The road to managing BPD isn’t always easy, but with the right therapy, you can make incredible progress. Whether you choose DBT, CBT, or another therapeutic approach, the goal is the same: to help you manage your emotions, build healthier relationships, and find more balance in your life. Finding the best therapy for you is the first step toward regaining control and creating a life that feels more stable, fulfilling, and meaningful.

At Marsh Psychotherapy, we specialize in both CBT and DBT and would love to discuss further. Contact us if you have any questions or would like to book an appointment.

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Marsh Psychotherapy offers a comprehensive range of therapeutic services, each designed to address the specific needs and challenges of our clients, including children aged 4-18, adults of all ages, the LGBTQ+ community, and couples. Our services are offered online throughout New York.

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