How To Regulate Emotions with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can often feel like riding an emotional rollercoaster. Intense feelings of joy, anger, sadness, and anxiety can come and go in the blink of an eye. The ups and downs of these emotions can leave individuals feeling overwhelmed and confused (not to mention, exhausted!).

However, developing emotional regulation skills can significantly improve the quality of life for those with BPD. Learn why emotional regulation is crucial, the benefits it brings, and practical techniques for those with BPD to manage emotions effectively.

Why Emotional Regulation is Important

You may have heard the term emotional regulation before, but what exactly does it mean? Emotional regulation refers to the ability to manage emotional experiences in a healthy and constructive way. For individuals with BPD, mastering this skill is essential for several reasons. 

When emotions are effectively managed, the intensity and duration of distressing feelings can be minimized. This provides relief from the emotional turmoil often experienced in BPD. Learning to regulate emotions can also help individuals feel more in control of their lives, leading to a greater sense of overall well-being. 

Improved emotional regulation can also lead to more stable and fulfilling relationships. By first understanding and then managing emotions, individuals with BPD can improve their communication with others and reduce interpersonal conflicts.

Benefits of Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation offers a range of benefits for those living with BPD. It fosters increased self-awareness, as individuals learn to identify and understand their emotional triggers. This process can lead to a sense of empowerment, which encourages individuals to make healthier choices and respond thoughtfully to challenging situations. By regulating emotions, individuals often experience reduced stress and improved overall mental health, contributing to long-term emotional stability. Additionally, emotional regulation has a positive impact on relationships; people who can effectively manage their emotions are better equipped to handle conflict, set healthy boundaries, and engage in more constructive interactions with others. This not only enhances personal well-being but also strengthens their connections with others.

Why is it hard for people with borderline personality disorder to regulate emotions?

Regulating emotions can be difficult, but several factors make it even more challenging for those with BPD. Many individuals with BPD experience emotions with extreme intensity, often feeling overwhelmed as their emotional system goes into overdrive. In these moments, the brain can prioritize raw emotional reactions, making it difficult to access language and logical thought, which can lead to a sense of panic and impulsive behaviors in response to feeling “out of control.” An intense fear of abandonment can also drive impulsive actions as individuals attempt to avoid perceived threats.

Moreover, a history of trauma or emotional invalidation often results in maladaptive coping mechanisms that complicate emotional regulation further. Research indicates that neurological differences in individuals with BPD affect emotional processing, adding another layer of complexity to managing intense emotions effectively.

Therapeutic Approaches for Learning To Regulate Emotions with BPD

While emotional regulation may be challenging, there are several therapeutic approaches for BPD that can help individuals learn to manage their feelings more effectively.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

Emotional regulation is a cornerstone of Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). It was specifically designed for individuals with BPD and focuses on teaching skills in four key areas: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. 

Mindfulness allows individuals with BPD to observe their emotions without judgment. Distress tolerance teaches individuals how to survive crises without resorting to harmful behaviors. Emotional regulation strategies help individuals understand and manage their emotional responses, while interpersonal effectiveness enhances communication and relationship skills for those on their journey toward emotional stability. 

Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT)

Psychodynamic Interpersonal Therapy aims to address the root emotional conflicts and attachment issues often underlying BPD. Through exploring past experiences and understanding how they shape current feelings, IPT helps individuals identify patterns in emotional responses and relationships that may contribute to their emotional dysregulation. This therapy encourages individuals to build greater self-awareness and insight into the unconscious factors influencing their behavior.

By addressing unresolved emotional pain, individuals can learn healthier ways to process emotions and interact with others. IPT can provide a safe space for those with BPD to explore deep-seated emotions, thereby fostering emotional resilience, reducing impulsivity, and building more stable, fulfilling relationships.

Creative Arts Therapy

Creative Arts Therapy, including art, music, and dance therapy, offers a non-verbal outlet for individuals with BPD to express and process complex emotions. For those who struggle with verbalizing intense feelings, creative expression can be an effective way to access, process, and regulate emotions. This therapy uses the creative process to enhance self-awareness, promote relaxation, and develop emotional resilience.

Engaging in creative arts allows individuals with BPD to explore their emotional experiences safely and constructively, which can help alleviate distress and reduce impulsive behaviors. Through creative outlets, they can also improve self-esteem and communication skills, which are essential for building healthier interpersonal relationships.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can also be an effective therapeutic approach for individuals with BPD as it focuses on identifying and reshaping negative thought patterns that contribute to emotional dysregulation. By teaching individuals to recognize how their thoughts influence their emotions and behaviors, CBT empowers those with BPD to develop healthier coping strategies. 

This approach helps individuals build awareness of their emotional triggers and promotes skills for managing intense feelings, ultimately fostering greater emotional stability and improved interpersonal relationships. Through practical exercises, CBT equips those with BPD with the tools they need to navigate their emotions more effectively.

Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT)

Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT) can help those with BPD because it enhances their ability to understand and interpret both their own and others’ thoughts and feelings. By focusing on mentalization—the process of recognizing that people have different mental states—MBT helps individuals gain insight into their emotional experiences and interpersonal dynamics. 

This increased awareness allows individuals to better navigate relationships and respond to emotional triggers with greater control. As those with BPD learn to differentiate between their emotions and the perceptions of others, they can develop healthier responses to stressors, reducing impulsivity and emotional dysregulation.

There are several other therapeutic modalities that can help with BPD, and determining which is best depends on the individual. Whether DBT, CBT, MBT, or another therapeutic approach, the goal is the same: to help the individual manage their emotions, build healthier relationships, and find more balance in their life.

Other Techniques for Regulating Emotions with BPD

In addition to therapeutic approaches, there are several practical techniques that individuals with BPD can employ to help regulate their emotions more effectively.

• Grounding: Grounding techniques can be particularly useful when emotions feel overwhelming. It can help bring the individual back to the present moment.
• Breathwork: Simple practices such as focusing on one’s breath, or engaging the five senses can help anchor the individual and reduce emotional intensity. 
• Journaling: Writing about feelings can help clarify thoughts, identify triggers, and develop a deeper understanding of emotional patterns. 
• Physical Activity: Whether through a brisk walk, yoga, or dancing, exercise releases endorphins, which can improve mood and reduce stress.
• Self-Care: A self-care routine can help individuals maintain emotional balance. This may include activities like meditation, reading, taking baths, or spending time in nature—whatever helps them feel recharged and centered!

Getting Started with BPD Therapy in New York

Regulating emotions with borderline personality disorder is a journey, but it’s one that can lead to profound personal growth and improved quality of life. By understanding the importance of emotional regulation, recognizing the unique challenges faced by individuals with BPD, and implementing effective techniques, it’s possible to cultivate a greater sense of stability and fulfillment.

At Marsh Psychotherapy, we specialize in both DBT and CBT for managing borderline personality disorder. If you’re ready to get started with BPD therapy, or have questions about whether our practice could be a good fit, please contact us.